Grief is one of the most profound experiences we will ever face. It touches every part of who we are - our emotions, our thoughts, our sense of identity, and even our spirituality. Yet for something so universal, grief is also deeply personal. No two people will ever grieve in quite the same way.

When we lose someone we love, the world shifts. Time feels different. Ordinary things take on new meaning. And in the middle of it all, we are left trying to navigate emotions that can change from moment to moment. Some days might bring a sense of peace or acceptance, and the next might feel like you’re right back at the beginning. That’s okay. There is no rulebook for grief, no timeline to follow, and no “right” way to feel.

The uniqueness of grief

Each person’s grief reflects their relationship with the one they’ve lost. The memories, shared experiences, unspoken words, and the role that person played in your life all shape the way you mourn.

Some people find comfort in tears, while others find strength in silence. Some throw themselves into keeping busy; others withdraw and rest. One person might want to talk endlessly about their loved one, while another might find it too painful to even say their name for a while.

It’s important to remember that however you grieve, it’s your way - and that’s perfectly valid. Comparison only adds unnecessary pain. Just because someone else seems to be “doing better” or “moving on faster” doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. Grief isn’t a competition or a checklist to complete - it’s a journey that unfolds differently for everyone.

The stages of grief and why they aren’t linear

Many people are familiar with the concept of the “five stages of grief” - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages, first introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, can help us make sense of what we’re feeling, but they’re not a set path.

You might not experience all of them, or you might move through them in a completely different order. You might feel acceptance one day and deep anger the next. You might feel all five emotions before breakfast. That’s because grief is not tidy - it’s fluid and unpredictable.

Here’s what these stages can sometimes look like:

• Denial can feel like numbness or disbelief - a way for your mind to protect itself from overwhelming pain.

• Anger may arise as you grapple with unfairness or frustration at the loss.

• Bargaining often comes in the form of “if only” statements, as you try to make sense of what happened.

• Depression brings a deep sadness and sometimes a feeling of emptiness as the reality sinks in.

• Acceptance doesn’t mean you’re “over it.” It simply means you’ve started to find a way to live with the loss and carry your love forward.

Grief ebbs and flows. Sometimes it feels like a gentle wave lapping at your feet, and sometimes it crashes over you with full force. Both moments are part of healing.

Finding ways to remember

One of the most healing parts of grieving is finding meaningful ways to remember and honour your loved one. These acts of remembrance can help you maintain a continuing bond with them - because love doesn’t end when a life does.

Here are some small, personal memorial ideas that can bring comfort:

• Create a memory space. You might include a photo, candle, favourite trinket, or something that belonged to them. It becomes a quiet place to sit, reflect, and feel close.

• Talk to them. Many people find comfort in speaking aloud to their loved one - whether at home, during a walk, or while visiting a grave. It’s a way of keeping the connection alive.

• Write letters. Journalling or writing letters to the person you’ve lost can be a beautiful outlet for the thoughts and emotions that have nowhere else to go.

• Plant something living. A tree, rose bush, or even a patch of wildflowers can symbolise growth and continuation. Each time it blooms, it becomes a gentle reminder that love endures.

• Celebrate anniversaries. Light a candle on their birthday, play their favourite song, cook their favourite meal. These rituals can transform painful dates into moments of remembrance and gratitude.

Spirit lives on

For many people, grief opens up questions about the soul, spirit, and what lies beyond physical death. Whether you follow a particular faith or simply have a sense that there is more to life than what we see, it can be comforting to believe that the spirit continues.

Our loved ones are never truly gone - their energy, love, and essence remain part of us. Sometimes they make their presence known in gentle ways: a feather appearing in an unexpected place, a favourite song playing at just the right moment, a sudden warmth or light breeze when you’re thinking of them.

These signs can feel like a whisper from beyond - a reminder that they’re still close, still loving, still watching over you. Whether or not you believe in the spiritual world, taking comfort in these small moments can bring healing and peace.

Being kind to yourself

Grief takes energy - emotional, mental, and physical. It can affect your sleep, appetite, and even your ability to concentrate. So it’s important to be gentle with yourself. Rest when you need to. Cry when you must. Allow yourself joy without guilt when it arrives.

There will be moments when laughter surprises you, and that’s okay too. Joy doesn’t erase the grief - it coexists with it. Over time, the pain softens, and the love remains as a quiet, steady presence in your heart.

Moving forward, not moving on

It’s often said that time heals all wounds, but in truth, it’s not time itself that heals - it’s what we do with that time. Healing comes from allowing yourself to feel, to remember, to talk, to cry, and to love.

Grief changes you. It doesn’t mean forgetting the person who’s gone, but learning how to carry them with you as you continue living. They become part of your story - the way you see the world, the compassion you show others, and the courage you find in yourself.

In the end, grief is love - love with nowhere to go. But with time, that love finds new ways to express itself - in memories, in stories, in kindness, and in the small, sacred ways you choose to honour the one you miss.

They are still with you. In every feather, every sunrise, every gentle thought that makes you smile - love lives on.